How does one lead by example with the caveat that they aren’t perfect? The personal project that I’m currently working on embodies ideals that I’m completely passionate about yet I have to come to terms that I might not be absolutely excluded because of my opinions on many controversial beliefs. This is why writing a blog has always been risky if it’s personal. I’ve had this blogging habit since I was 11 years old where I’ve shared my life with the world who paid attention. Now it takes me quite awhile to post an entry because some things aren’t meant to be shared. When I’ve reread, besides the terrible grammar, I realize the entries have been cryptic and easily mistaken for something else if people who read it aren’t close to me. For example, many situations that occurred in the past week absolutely changed my opinion on the topics of marriage, faith, sexuality and race. However, I can’t share those opinions unless I’m in the company of like minded individuals. I realize that I can’t write them on my blog because I’m almost 30 and the decisions I make have real consequences that didn’t exist when I was in high school. That makes me sad.
Many entries have been drafted in the past months also and I’ve yet to publish them because I didn’t want them to be misrepresented. That also makes me sad. For example, not only do I not want to ruin people’s reputation when I’ve been wronged in such a public outlet, I also don’t want to be considered petty (surely one might consider me petty for even writing that). Under better circumstances, I’d not care, however—although I’ll never be a politician, it’s best to remain silent.
Anyway, back to my current project, I’ve had something in the works for over a decade that is being resurrected and I truly hope that I have your support. It will be worked on silently but I do have a deadline and I would like to hope that I will be perceived as someone who is constantly growing and learning. That’s how life should be right?