Enjoying the Long Journey with Jerlyn Thomas

I’m on a podcast!

I’ll like to thank Octane Athletic Performance for the opportunity to be on the podcast this week to talk about my journey in ultrarunning.

You can listen here!
[cincopa AgMAsZNzjdJE]

I still owe you all a post about my recent races, my vacation to St. Croix in the past couple months and some other updates in my life! It has been a whirlwind! Stay tune!

I vent therefore I am

I forgot when I stopped writing frequently. I think I lost interest the day a peer mentioned that I didn’t proofread. I don’t think he knew how condescending that comment was to me at the time. People actually read this?

No, no way, I don’t.

This was my blog.
I had been blogging before blogging was even a term.
“Screw you,” I wanted to say.

He went on to say likened that I had taken English and knew grammar, yada, yada, yada…. I was aware.

I was also aware that it was my least favorite subject at school—long story (It was my junior high teacher and she always gave me A- no matter how hard I worked without ever telling me that it was because I was spelling words the British way. I’m still holding a grudge for that A+. I mean, really? Favorite vs Favourite, color vs colour… I digress. I hope she regrets killing my dreams as an 11-year old Shakespearean).

Proofreading before I hit published just added an extra task for me to do, I lamented silently behind my screen.

I messaged back, “Yea I guess I don’t.”

He made me think though.

In reality, my blog was a place to vent—to rant. It was simply a creative piece of me that I let out often. Let it go into the world. I’m not a writer anyway. I draw things—I’m an artisssssteee.

I started thinking about it again.

I never reread entries that I posted passionately. They were much too emotional. I didn’t want to relive them.

Logging into WordPress, drafting and publishing meant I was screaming it out of me and never having to bring it up again.

I made that mistake of rereading my entries before. I read a year’s worth of them before and gasped in shock throughout of how unfamiliar that author was. I had lost her—the girl I had chosen to refer as third person.

I still refuse to reread.

I choose to vent.

Screw that guy—it’s not like we speak now anyway!

If you actually read this, I don’t particularly care for your grammatical corrections however, I do apologize for any errors my spell check might have missed. Unless you want to voluntarily proofread my book before they are published, I don’t require your services.

More venting to come.

#ABalletSeries

Created in #procreate during #commuteart by Jerlyn M. Thomas

I still don’t know what I will be doing with these but I started drawing these during the later part of last year and made them into a series. I would certainly love to do some of these live. In the meantime, here’s a consolidation of most of them. They were all drawn on my iPad during my commute to and from places in NYC on the MTA.

I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring

BowieRIP David Bowie. This post is about relationships you guysssssss… and it’s mostly random babbling but it’s about epiphanies.

This past year has been incredible for me in terms of growth—well, that’s me reflecting on my self, it’s all I have. I truly wish that somehow I could have transported what I learned to 21-year-old me. However, since that wasn’t the case, it was last week that I realized how far I’ve come. It also made me realize that I had dated some pretty terrible people (and I didn’t deserve it).

I’ve made it my purpose to master the subtle art of not giving a fuck but I also know that I had to handle maturity and closure today. With that said, closure is this blog entry.

I’ve been dating someone, still haven’t disclosed his name online, and many of you know he exists (c’mon that Irish Guy in my photos all over the social networks wasn’t hired to appear with me for funsies). We’ve decided not to be Facebook friends, we’ve discussed our futures, and have been somehow coexisted with our very different lifestyle, opinions, views etc. Trust me, we love each other.

It’s tough to avoid comparing the relationship you’ve had with your exes with your current partner/lover. If you’re better than me at that, that’s ok however I had a nice long list of everything this guy was doing right that I absolutely LOATHED about my past relationship. The disgruntled me had addressed my ex boyfriend multiple times in past blog entries and unfortunately this current guy went through the same. Thankfully I never told him outright “Well, when you do this… you remind me of my ex.” I’ve never had to because it never happened. I kept wondering if this was real. I fell in love, he showed me what it was like to really date someone the proper way. I didn’t realize how damaged I had been.

My ex and I WERE a terrible match. It was by far my absolute worse relationship. It was extremely abusive. While pointing fingers, I realized years later it’s because he discouraged me from everything I’ve wanted to try. I spent most of the relationship rebelling and not knowing why. I knew something was wrong. He made fun of my body parts, thought he was more intelligent than I was, belittled me and wondered how would it ever be possible that I, someone without a masters degree, ever got to the point to earn more than he did within my first year of working. I always wondered why he found pleasure in knowing he was doing better than everyone and comparing himself. Those values weren’t my own!

Many years later when I met the same types of guys, I remember one prior to this relationship who tried to tell me that he didn’t like some more body types—my hair, I immediately told them they had to go. I didn’t know how toxic he had been until I wondered if I really had been ghosting men because incompatibility or because I had been afraid.

Fast Forward to 2015: Remember the 30 things I wanted to do before I was 30? Well, I wrote that list mostly because of all the things I felt held back from doing. After my brother passed away in 2008, I subconsciously spiraled out of control. Hardly remembering faces, just getting more into work, I focused on running and lost myself in it. I still love it. Running saved my life. I learned how to love myself again and refocused my energy. Then somehow met my current boyfriend and confidant. I can talk to him about everything, he genuinely cares. We spent months just focusing on each other and developing our lives.

Then it happened. Facebook and its mutual friends and its alerts. “You must know this person.” THANK YOU. Facebook displayed that my ex now has a kid and is married/getting married. Of course I went into the rabbit hole of photos.

I was completely surprised by my response—I couldn’t help myself, I’m human after all. It was like the time I had spent with my current boyfriend didn’t exist for a moment when I began thinking: Wow, I just made 30. This would’ve been me but, did I really want that to have been me?

Then I got back to real life: Jerlyn, you’re in no way ready to have these things. This isn’t your time. Are you forgetting everything you’ve experienced in the past year? Then out of nowhere flashes of the things I’ve done in the past years since my ex and I have broken up. I remember his ex girlfriend calling me up after 5 years we had broken up and crying to me. Then I was thankful of him no longer being a part of this drama. Then I remembered running. The same thing that he did daily and I was never good at.

Yet today I do more than he had ever done. I remembered the 9 marathons, 5 ultra marathons, triathlon and short races that I’ve done since 2008 when we moved out. I remembered taking the risks in my career that I had always wanted. I remembered publishing a book with my illustrations. Then I looked at myself. Would I have been fine with procreation with someone like him? With that abuse. Nope, sorry I dodged a bullet.

Of course I’m not saying that his current lady hadn’t dodged one as well. I’m saying that I’m so grateful that we finally found the right people for us and I’m genuinely happy that we did. The most unfortunate thing is that we don’t get that maturity sometimes for some time in our life. I needed life experiences to get me ready. I also needed to have been with someone who I felt completely one with. Back in the time that I was in a relationship with him I wanted to see myself marrying him and never could. I wanted to see myself having children with him and that wasn’t possible. I also remembered introducing him to my folks when I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t right. Then I felt incredibly happy for him. He found someone for himself and I had too!

While in thought, I thought of my current boyfriend and all the weekends I spent laughing, meeting his family and finally telling him that I’d love for him to meet mine. Nothing forced. I remembered my boyfriend holding my hand, I remember the sweet notes that he wrote to me when he packed me lunches in the morning, I remember him treating me exactly how I imagined a boyfriend would treat me. He walks over to open my door every time. I’m not embarrassed being myself around him and him around me. He talks to me about getting married. We discuss what our children might look like. We talk about our beliefs. I reminisce about my childhood and he’s completely fascinated. He cherishes me. I’m finally happy. I know that we can’t predict the future but this feels quite right.

Yes, it’s tough to avoid comparing your exes. If it wasn’t for my ex, I would have avoided certain things I’m who I am because of him.

You might be more mature than me if you don’t compare but this was a perfect time for me to find closure.


P. S. I totally let him know that I was happy for him, and he has a lovely family now. I call all this growth :).

What’s up 2016! Peace out 2015!

Here we go again, another yearly round-up (I’ve been doing these since 2008 you can see the previous ones: 2008,20092010, 20112012, 2013 & 2014). This has been the best year of my life despite the nutty things that happened. Unfortunately, we did lose my 2nd grandfather this year—RIP daddy sparrow—I really wish that time allowed me to see him another time before he had passed.

I went back to Facebook to find some of these that I forgot, you guys wonder why I post so much—it’s because I have a terrible memory.

ThankYouI made 30 this year and before I post the infographic this is the group that I want to thank (in no particular order): Emily, Dee, Steph M., Gardenia, Jessica, Lee, Gee, Beth-Ann, Lynda, Julian, Larry, Daniil, Arthur, Frank A, Frank F, Miguel, Ronald, José, Lauren, Jacri, Jackson, Joy, Mark, Martha, Richard, Joycelyn, Kentom, Skyler, James, Delia, Carl, Janel, Nkoli, Angie, Christine, Hilary, Arlene, Vlad, Ryan, Stalina, Jerlie Beanz, Corey, Chemda, Justin, Elaine, Christian and everyone else who taught this was a super great idea and just wanted to be a part of it!

I did a trip this year #thebig30bdaytrip and you guys sponsored me to go to the airport, choose a country out of 3 and book a flight. I left immediately and landed in Antigua. That trip made me realize how fucking blessed I was for having people (even just followers from my Instagram!) in my life that cared about me. It also made turning 30 so memorable. I also decided to pay it forward continually, as long as I am able.

usquit a job after 3 years where I remained stagnant in my career. I started a new job and then closed the year realizing that I’m a much better freelancer. I went back to “school” and started working on my own company. I ran 4 marathons, 4 ultramarathons (with 50 being the furthest), I finally ran a marathon faster than I expected and did my first triathlon. I also finally met the ONLY guy I’ve dated who has made me feel the most comfortable about being myself and has been the most supportive (YES! A RUNNER, HALF IRONMAN & WORKOUT PARTNER! I love him so much). Hopefully I’ll get to write about him one day.

I really hope that 2016 will continue to give me great adventures. I was very blessed this year despite the things occurring around the world. Thank you! Here’s what I was able to create to document my year—of course more happened but only had time for this!

Bye2015