Posts Tagged Gilbert Thomas
Happy Birthday:R. I. P. Gilbert.
I don’t talk about this often but maybe today I should. I never imagined life without my brother, Gilbert. It’s so weird that he’s forever frozen in my memory as being 18 years old. He would have been 20 today. 20 years old.. an age that I took for granted. I was in college at that age, starting my career… investing in my future. It won’t happen for Gilbert.
It’s sort of weird, instead of remembering him daily (when his death was more prominent in my mind) my sadness occurs when I speak of him or when I have a memory. I hate this part of mourning (which part is there to like really). Like today, August 1st – I remember his birth. I was there to see him born.
I still remember his voice – how he would say my name to catch my attention, how he sounded when he was frustrated… I wish it was recorded to share. I just still can’t fathom his death.
I still haven’t got many photos of him up because it seems surreal. Looking at his image makes my heart feel heavy and I am always close to tears thinking about his name. I do feel like an incredible part of my life has been removed. Some sort of history lost, someone that I can’t talk to when I want to…
He wasn’t Michael Jackson but I assume death creates some sort of absence that’s felt similarly among humans so it’s relatable. He wasn’t sick when he died, his life was taken.
Death is an event none of us can escape – rich or poor, tall or short, beautiful or not – death is inevitable.
I do wonder who my brother was reincarnated as…
Car alarm has been going for over 12 hours
Posted by Jerlyn in My Life in NYC on July 19, 2009
I’m up late mostly because of the car alarm going off outside of my window. It was on since 3PM yesterday. I am writing this at 4am. I called the precinct and nothing was done.
There are great things about Brooklyn that I will write about or video blog about (thanks for the idea Johanna).
Yesterday, I went to FINALLY return my modem because we have shared internet at my apartment business (cool landlord). It was an adventure to get to the Optimum online office in Carnarsie. The temperature was in the high 80s and I was jogging up the stairs of the stop at Broadway Junction. I hate the humidity in the summer, I felt so sticky. I took 4 showers today.
I’m quickly writing this post because I’m up. Of all things, I sorted a makeup and jewelry box and watched a movie (that’s why I’m up). Earlier I went to a Malaysian restaurant in Little Italy (I know, random right?). I forgot what the place was called by it was at Mott St & Grand St. We had 3 types of dishes (which were incredible – I didn’t take photos – I know I am getting bad at documenting these things). After that, we had some incredible Gelato at the side of the street and went to firefly for beer.
Today (it’s already 4AM) I was thinking about going to church (OMG crazy ain’t it? I haven’t been to a church since my brother’s funeral and prior to that I don’t even remember), if I wake up early enough, I supposed I can make some coffee and head out there. I was supposed to go to Six Flags but plans don’t usually occur as I hope. I’ve been reading this book “48 Laws of Power” – it’s rather incredible. I’ve been reading that book for months now (I know I am usually quicker!)… I have been actually absorbing the historical stories. I love History.
On Friday (I took the day off) night I went along with my coworkers for sake (at Decibel 240E 9th st), it was very fun. We went to a hookah bar after (right next door), then a Ukrainian bar. I am actually the youngest in the group and was told I should take 10 years off and come back when I am in my 30s to actually “work for a living.” *Sigh* if only I didn’t have loans. However, they are right. I have much more traveling to do. I hate disclosing my age sometimes. I’m in that phase where I am having fun however, just more restricted fun. My life is so SATC now however.
I might explain later.. anyway I need a nap! Ear plugs included, hopefully the alarm will be off when I wake.
Don’t think I forgot about this blog Design Lady NYC.
Into his room
Almost 3AM, I should be asleep but I am reflecting again. I met my brother’s friends today. They all seem like nice kids. They are going to be his pallbearers at the funeral.
I found his pair of Dices hung at the window today. I took photos of them but I might repost them later tonight.
It’s really depressing here without him ever being able to come back. I cried today when his friend spoke about him. “Tha’ wah my padnar nuh man,” Cruzan accent and everything.
I spoke to my best friend tonight (I went to see my godson – he’s now 5). We reflected on the things we have done over the year and saw how much she changed. We talked about relationships etc. She also has a younger brother. I just showed up at her door (she moved and I didn’t have her current number), her family was happy to see me. Seeing her again made me appreciative of our friendship because she knows the real me. We lost contact for awhile because of “life.” I was so into school and she had started her family. I met her in 7th grade, when I first came to St. Croix. I just smiled when she joined my table, we were inseparable after. We hung out constantly even if life took us on different paths. I am her son’s godmother and it was nice seeing him. I hope he doesn’t have to deal with the stresses of life, and I am there for him.
I will post images I found in albums later.
My brother never said goodbye, so according to my brother, “bust off.” (Bass Ahf – Cruzan accent)
R. I. P. Gilbert J. Thomas 1989-2008
Gilbert J. Thomas was shot to death last night around 10PM on the island of St. Croix. He was 18 years old.
Once again another bubble. I didn’t write about this last night because it hurt too much, no one really expects their perfectly healthy loved ones to die. My brother, the youngest sibling, was shot and killed by a federal marshal last night. I got the news from my then hysterical aunt while I was out in the village. We immediately cut plans short and took a cab home while I tried getting the story from everyone. It’s one thing when God takes someone near and dear to you but it’s unacceptable in any situation for a human to take life.
The last time I saw my brother was last year when I brought my boyfriend to see my family. He approved of Alex. The time before that was 2005 when I came for my sister’s high school graduation.

(This was taken when we were getting my sister ready for her prom)

That summer he showed me how to play pool/billiards (and up to this day I can’t do it well) I was only good because he showed me where to hit the ball. He was so smart and I wish he had the chance to show the world. I admit he was so much more of an intellectual than I was. He was well read. He was a terrific gamer and always kicked my ass in every game. He always made me laugh. I always wished I was half as good as him when it came to making friends with new people. He can have a conversation going with anyone even if he hardly knew them.
For the past week, I had 3 consecutive nights where I dreamed that I had died. I am not superstitious but I do wish I knew what it all meant. I didn’t know that someone so close to me would have died. My mom thought it was the 3 bullets that killed him that I was dreaming about.
I loved Gilbert with all my heart, this is why I can only celebrate the amazing memories that I had of him. I had the opportunity to live life and see different parts of it and wish that he had the chance to do the same. I remember always promising him to reward him by coming to NYC if he complied and figured out what he wanted to do with his life. I wasn’t worried at the time because I knew if he ever needed help my sister and I would be there to help him anyway we could because he was the baby. I am deeply saddened that all this was taken away from us.




I might write a few more memory posts about him and I apologize. I am making plans to go to St. Croix for his funeral. I only ask for your prayers for my family throughout this.
































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